Before I could finally breathe
by Darveylovers
Summary: My first time writing a fanfiction! The story starts after Harvey splits up with Paula.
1. Confession

The story starts after Harvey splits up with Paula.

This is my first multi chapter be indulgent with me please (English is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes) and thank you!

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Chapter 1

Sitting in her office looking at the city lights, she feels empty.

She is wondering what is missing in her life so she could finally feel complete.

She has the beauty, the talent, friends and family who loves her, a fulfilling job that she is proud of and deserved after all her hard working. A job she was willing to loose to make him feel less guilty about what happened between them and let him save the only real relationship he ever had. But he ended everything, for her, to keep her next to him. At arms length.

Sipping some more of her wine she feels his stare on her before he had the time the make his presence known.

She doesn't turn around when he says her name the first time. She is upset, she is sad, she is angry, fed up and other mixed feelings . Because she feels the guilt too.

\- "Donna!" The second time louder

-"Harvey!" Taking a big sip to numb the pain she feels, not daring to turn to face him.

-"Can you please look at me!! It's been two fucking days that you are back and you don't even talk to me or look at me..." she cuts him

-"Don't be ridiculous Harvey we talk." biting on her bottom lip.

-"It's work talk! I want... I want you to.. I don't know" stumbling and looking around her office "we didn't git the chance to celebrate.."

-She cuts him turning to face him "Celebrate what my stupidity for making you cheat? You want us to drink to that?" she stand up and walking towards him.

-"Stop it!" He said taking one more step .

They are standing at the same spot she kissed him in. Furry in both their eyes.

-"Don't you dare play the victim! I kissed you back! If it wasn't for you leaving me standing here like a fool, I would have..." she cut him taking a step back.

-"Don't you dare finish that sentence!" furry left place to worry, shame and a little bit of hope.

-"Donna, listen to me! I didn't came here to upset you, I came here to drink, you coming back to where you're supposed to be and to us being back to normal..." not capable of looking at her in the eyes, lying about their situation. Because they are far from being back to normal.

She turned her back to him, hands flat above her desk hiding her teary eyes.

-" Now is not the time for an argument please... please leave me alone... I can't do this anymore..."

-"Do what?" He says with a shaky voice

-"Lie to you"

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Thanks for reading!

I know it's short but I needed to knwo if it's good enough...

can you please leave instructive comments and if you want me to write more... just say it !


	2. hard truths

***This part his short too sorry****I am preparing for the exams so...**

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chapter 2

-"what do you mean by lying?" he looks at her dumbfounded

-"It means, I wanted it all! I wanted the job, the friends and the love. But I never thought that my love for you will make me do stupid things like…" He approached wanting to touch her, his hand near her back, her words making him stop at the last inch.

Feeling his warmth so close to her body, she turned to face him, tears now already down her cheeks, scared to look at him in the eyes, she lifts her gaze to the ceiling avoiding his piercing look.

Overcoming the fact that she is talking so freely about her feelings for him, he asked her hesitantly.

-"what stupid things are you talking about?" not waiting for her answer "If you are talking about the kiss, I am going to stop you know because…" He didn't get to finish his sentence

-"I made two men cheat" she said screaming "two men I care about, or cared, I don't know anymore!" trying her best to stop shaking and don't show him that she is not the strong woman he always thought she is.

-"Two men! Who are you talking about?" he takes a step back already fearing the worst

Making him a cheater was hard enough for him to take in but who the hell is she talking about?

She looks hesitant to tell him what's on her mind, so he blurted out approaching her and taking her shaking wrist in his fist by one hand and turning her face so she looks at him dead in the eyes.

-"FUCK IT DONNA SAY SOMETHING!! WHO ARE YOU THE FUCK TALKING ABOUT! Tell me please" anger turning to worry, begging her as if it will change the fucked up situation

She watched the fear in his eyes before answering, her voice cracking.

-"Mark. He is married now and I…We…and I feel so horrible about it but…" struggling to finish, his worried stare and the skin contact making her skin burn.

The lack of response from him encouraging her to finish.

-"I called him the other day hoping to see an old friend… and maybe save what we had of a relationship, we were having lunch and catching up, I hoped we could do this another time and that when he told me he was married... He told me that things with his wife weren't doing well, that he missed me and he wanted to see me again. He had a hotel room … I was… I was so angry that you run to your therapist as soon as I told you that I wanted more and when I saw Paula he other in your office looking for you you to give your two months anniversary gift… I just couldn't stop myself from putting ME first for once in twelve goodamn years"

-"No please! Tell me it's a joke FOR GOD'S SAKE DONNA YOU FUCKED HIM! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" anger taking place in his features as he added "I…loved you! Okay? I wanted you all, all of you just for me! And for years I wanted you, just so you go and fuck him?" his revelation making her feel flustered.

-"loved?" was all what's came out from her parted lips

-"you know I love you Donna"

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*Hope you enjoyed reading this little something

also thank you for the encouragement


	3. Teary kiss

Thank you for reading an encouraging me to keep writing !!

And sorry for the bad English again..

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**Chapter 3**

-"You know I love you Donna "

-"But you were with her and I ..." she was in total disbelief he always had a bad timing and it's obviously getting worse

-"It was a big mistake... I knew I loved you then... and I am sorry Donna! so sorry for putting in that position...I am so..and now that you are with that asshole... I want to hate you!!! But I just can't... I want to make you mine ... forget that shit about going back to normal. I want you and if you don't please say it or stop me now because I am going to kiss you ..."

While speaking his heart out, his hands were on her waist and his face approaching her. Closing his eyes anticipating the contact of his lips with Donna's.

She didn't push him. She closed her eyes and an other tear rolled over her cheek. His face too close to her, she couldn't think straight anymore.

His lips met wet skin. When he opened his eyes he was met by her reddening cheeks and turned face.

She doesn't want me? She turned her face so that I can't kiss her !*

A sob escaped her and before he could move she grabbed him from the lapel of his suit and stopped him from running away from her refusal.

-"I don't want us to start like this... with you angry at me and hating me for what I did or what I did not... it won't work! And ..."

Not daring to look at him in the eyes she took his hands on her still shaking ones and squeezing them for some kind of reassurance.

He was frustrated not only because of the way things have between them since he started seeing his therapist but also because of Donna's stubbornness of keeping their feelings aside and not giving them a shot.

-"Time will heal us... but please don't stay away from me! I never thought my self capable of expressing my feelings freely. So please I am begging.. to not let Mark be the one who stands between us. He is married and please just be with me... " He put their joined hands on his chest begging her tears forming and heart beating.

-" If you let me finish what I had to say you'll have known that Mark and I aren't a thing and we never got back together in the first place..." Her eyes searching his piercing stare. A soft chuckle replaced her earlier sobs.

-"what do you mean by that? Was it a one time thing?" He wasn't sure if he wanted the answer for this question, because he doesn't want to picture her with him in his mind. He only wan't to think of her like he have seen her in his dreams... Beautiful, breathtaking and HIS!

-"I couldn't do it... "

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Next chapter will be a

**Flashback **about what happened in

**The hotel room**

Sorry it's short I know !!!

I am starting my exams tomorrow. As soon as I finish them I will have enough time to write more of this!!!

Hope you enjoyed reading this one


	4. Mistress

It's not that long again... sorry

Also my English is bad.! So please tolerate if there's any mistake.

Enjoy

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Chapter 4

*Start of flashback*

Room 508

I knock on the door. Heart beating. Hands sweeting.

Bip.Bip.

I check my phone. It's a message from Rachel.

Hope you're having a hot time on your date!

Soon followed by,

You deserve the best.

It got me thinking. Was he my best? the one I deserve?

I feel my legs shaking.

Am I really doing this?

The door is open now and I look him in the eyes, but I can't breath…

-"Didn't know if you'd come..." Mark said. I see hope in his eyes. His look made me nauseous, but I swallowed the fear.

is this fear that I am feeling? Maybe just anticipation!

while my heart and brain were telling me to run and forget about all of this, my mouth answered.

-"neither did I ! But here I am…" I stepped in, when he opened the door wider.

-"You want a drink?" he said, closing the door and following me.

-"Yes please!" I answer walking towards the couch.

Still wearing my coat standing in front of the big window. The view was amazing, the city lights are twinkling. Or was it because of the tears in my eyes?

I can see him approach in the reflexion of the glass, but can't turn and face him yet.

I feel his hands on my shoulders, he wants me to take off my coat. I can feel his breath on my neck. A shiver runs through my spine.

But I know deep down it's not one from pleasure, because I know that this is a big mistake, maybe the biggest I ever made.

I am scared.

-"Mark…" I turn around, afraid of what I will find in his eyes.

-"Relax!" He said

All I can see is lust and hunger.

At this is when all my senses came back to me. I push him away from me.

-"I can't do this Mark...and you thinking that I could me your mistress… just means that you don't know me at all !"

And I run to the door.

-"Donna wait… Donna listen... DONNA!!!!"

I still can hear him call out for me but thankfully the elevator's doors are closing behind my back.

I feel suffocated. The walls too close for my liking, and the ride to the hotel's hall too damn long…

After that everything is a blur.

All I can remember is my body shaking and my sobs getting louder and louder.

But all I am feeling is guilt.

*End of flashback*

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Thanks for reading

Hope you like it

Please leave a review...


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